~* Competitive Bitch *~

Who, me?? Nahhhh.

Ok, maybe just a little.

Okaaaaaay. Fiiiiine. Ya got me. I am a competitive bitch. Usually, against myself, but tomorrow I have the opportunity to compete against the world. Not even an exaggeration. I signed up for my first Crossfit competition, and it's part of the Garage Games Series called World Wide WOD Aftermath. I will be competing as a beginner, and have no hopes of doing exceptionally well, but I do believe it will be worth the experience and I'm kind of excited about it. A little terrified, but also excited.

Along other lines, I have had some interesting run-ins with the male species since I moved in. I had an overnight guest, because he was bored and lonely. I solved the lonely problem that evening, not the bored. I do enjoy sleeping next to a man. I've been hit on by a married man- whose wife I adore. Slime. I gained a cheering section for the competition tomorrow in J, who I haven't seen since I moved. And, I have had dinner with my gorgeous neighbor. Possibly, probably more on that in the future. I'm liking 30 so far.

~* I *~

I am 30 years old.
I am 5'5ish, with blonde-ish reddish hair and blue/gray/green eyes.
I am 131lbs (today) with a body fat percentage of 21.6.
I have a love/hate relationship with my family.
I have been engaged 3 times, married twice, and divorced 1 1/2 times.
I am a personal trainer, certified nutritionist, and seniors' fitness specialist.
I am driven by my passion for my job and a never-ending need to succeed.
I will never be good enough for myself.
I love what I do, and if I ever cease to love it, I will do something else.
I may never have children, and that's ok with me.
I get moody.
I get jealous.
I have trust issues.
I am a commitment-phobe.
I am terrified of birds, and drowning, and burning to death, and going blind.
I love music- all kinds, any kind. Well, almost any kind.
I am not religious, but will never tell you you're wrong for your beliefs.
I am both girly and tough.
I am a terrible jump-roper.
I am an awesome baker.
I like to paint.
I love the beach and all things summer-related.
I have no problem letting go. I pack light, and am sentimentally attached to virtually nothing.
I love polka dots.
I think a child's laughter is the most amazing sound in the world.
I hate being cold more than anything in the world.
I will treat you exactly the way you treat me.
I am a lover and a fighter. And a sarcastic bitch.
I will never feel the need to be better than you.
I will always feel the need to be better than myself.

~* Changes Ahead *~

Wow, it's been a while!! I've been soooooo busy lately, I have completely neglected this blog. I'm sorry.

Work has been insanely awesome, and awesomely insane. Our manager's wife PCS'd to Kansas, so our head trainer took the management position. Leaving li'l ol' me in the head trainer position. It's been great and challenging, my schedule got crazy practically overnight. I'm working, actually putting in effort, a full 9 hours a day now, and I had to start working Fridays again. But this craziness has put me in the incredible position to be able to afford my own apartment!!!

J isn't thrilled about it, but he knows it needs to happen. We had a little heart to heart about it. We haven't been doing so hot, and the longer I stick around, the worse it's going to get. He knows I wasn't ready to be living with someone, it just happened out of circumstances. I told him the truth- my moving out isn't guaranteed to fix things, but it's not going to make them any worse either. So, the big day is in about a week and a half. I'd be moving this weekend, but I'll be in DE, helping the family move into a bigger place so they don't all kill each other (not even exaggerating).

Anyway, gotta get to work. I'll try to get back on track with this thing.

~* Amazed Again *~

My clients never cease to amaze me.

This week, I feel like I have witnessed more drive and dedication from my clients than ever. Maybe it's because I've been pushing a little harder than usual, and they sure have stepped up. It's so freakin' rewarding.

Yesterday was the best day of the week. Aside from the fact that Thursdays are my Fridays (3 day weekends, yay!), I had two clients blow me away. Client #1 is a wheelchair bound man, 24 years old with spina bifida and diabetes. He has virtually no feeling in his feet below his ankles, but I got to take him through a leg workout yesterday!! Not anything crazy, but he was able to do the leg extension machine and the seated hamstring curls, and that was incredible. Client #2 is in his late 50s and he is a workhorse. He will do anything I come up with for a workout and never complain about it. I've only gotten the best of him once, actually. He set a goal for himself a while back- he wanted to do 10 pull ups. The last time he tried, he got 5. Well, last night, I got to witness him getting 9!!! His "gym birthday" is in 2 weeks, and I have no doubt in my mind that he will be able to celebrate with 10 full pull ups.

I am so full of wonder and amazement and sheer gratitude. How many people can wake up every day and feel truly blessed and fortunate to be going to a job that they love? I can.

~* One More Great Weekend *~

I did have a pretty fantastic weekend. Let's break it down, shall we?

Friday- I was done work at 9:30am. Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous. I'm actually just taking Fridays off for the foreseeable future to avoid going in for just a few hours. Anyway, after work, I headed out to J's place, let out the wrinkle-faced monster, and gorged myself on spaghetti squash alfredo. OMG Paleo amazingness!! He really is an amazing cook. After the energy tank was full, I went to SoPi Crossfit for my first one-on-one session. I LOVED IT!! My sessions are with a chick named Mila, and she's awesome. She's friendly, but she's tough, which I need. I've been too easy on myself lately, and I need that extra push. I learned a few basics, and how to fix my deadlifts. Then, I did my first Fran. I don't think it was timed, and it wasn't Rx- I only used the 45lb bar, and I used bands for my pullups- but I'd guess it came in somewhere around 7 or 8 minutes. It felt like an hour and a half. All in all, it was a great workout, and she kicked my butt!

Saturday, we headed back to SoPi so J and A could do 13.3. I love watching the whole group get together and just suffer to be better. Then, we all went for ice cream. Ugh, my body hates dairy these days. It's funny how quickly I've adjusted to eating super-clean. But, it was delicious. Later in the afternoon, J and I went to the range and shot a zombie. That was a blast. I don't think he expected me to be very good, but I'm a decent shot. I may not have a lot of gun knowledge, but I have pretty spot-on aim. Then we went to Smokey Bones for dinner with a couple who we will be dogsitting for next weekend. They were an interesting pair, but it was a nice dinner.

This morning, I made French Toast with the Paleo coconut bread we scored out in SoPi, and then whipped up the rest of the egg-batter-mix-stuff into scrambled eggs. It was a little weird- eggs with cinnamon and vanilla?? But not bad. It was a nice change up since he's always doing the amazing work in the kitchen, but he's still a WAY better cook.

Right now, I'm sitting back in my own kitchen, waiting on my pork in the crockpot. This week's food adventure is going to be shredded pork with plantains. The recipe actually calls for mashed plantains, but I think I'm just going to slice and fry them up in some coconut oil. Wish me luck!

~* Partners In Paleo *~

People tend to think Paleo is either really complicated or really boring. It can be either, sure, but it doesn't have to be. Especially with a partner.

During the week, I do tend to keep things boringly simple. It just makes my life easier. I'm up at 4am Monday thru Friday. No, I don't want to waste time thinking about what to have for breakfast. I have lunch right after my workouts, when I'm starving and in no mood to decide what to have for lunch. And, if I can pop dinner right in the microwave so I can sit down and study at the end of my day, well, the easier the better.

Breakfast is usually 2 hardboiled eggs, 2 strips of bacon, and whatever fruit I decided on that week (this week it will be strawberries and blueberries). Lunch is a tuna-stuffed avocado. Dinner is some kind of meat (currently, grilled pork chops), a green veggie (Brussels sprouts), and sometimes a sweet potato. Bam, easy.

But, on the weekends, J. and I usually make one meal together. Well, he makes the meal, I make dessert. And I say usually, but really, it's only been the last 2 weekends. I'd like to keep it up though. ANYWAY- this weekend, he made burgers from ground sirloin and ground bacon. We had planned to use Portobello's as the "bun", but we couldn't find any regular sized ones. So, we prepped sweet potatoes to use instead, but these are definitely knife-and-fork burgers. SOOOOO GOOD!!! And for dessert, I made dark chocolate cherry brownies, which are simply delicious.

I love doing this because it forces me to get creative. He'll text me early in the week saying "We're having .... for dinner on Saturday. Dessert's on you.", and it forces me to get creative and put a little effort into it. I appreciate him so much for that. Sometimes, we need a little push to prevent us from getting lazy or trapped in the meat-and-veggies mindset. So, grab your partner, and get busy in the kitchen!! (Perv.)

~* Blessed and Grateful *~

I am not a religious person. At all. Even a little bit. 6 years of Catholic school cured me of that. However, last night as I was laying in bed, I was actually moved to tears by the overwhelming love I feel coming in my direction. Ok, part of it may have been PMS, but mostly because I am just so incredibly grateful to feel so much love from and for so many aspects of my life.

I got random Tuesday flowers yesterday. I think that may be the first time I've ever gotten random flowers at all. Just completely out of the blue, to say "Hey, love you (most)". Amazing. See??

After that, I got a text message from a client that reads " I wouldn't be where I am now without you!!! So thanks for all of your hard work and motivation!!". I also got a Facebook message from another client that reads "You are so good and tell the world you deserve more. Gold's Gym would be so much better with more trainers like you. I am so lucky to have gotten you as my trainer."

What these guys don't realize is that I am the lucky one. To have a job that I love- I don't feel like I ever actually work. I absolutely love what I do, and I LOVE seeing the changes and helping people reach their goals. Hell, if I could afford it, I'd do what I do for free!

I truly am a blessed person, and I am so grateful for everything emanating love in my life.

~* Case Of The Mondays *~

Yep, I've got it. Definite case of the Mondays, and I'm ready for it to be gone. I have a wicked sinus infection. So rough that I cancelled all of my clients today. I hate that shit. I hate not working. Plus, it's only 10am. What the hell am I gonna do with the rest of the day???  I damn sure better feel better tomorrow. I'm going to work anyway.

But I can't complain about being miserable too much today. I had such a great weekend that today never stood a chance. Friday, I went to see J. We went in search of running shoes for me, with no luck. Then we had a quiet night with some James Bond. Saturday, we spent the day in Raleigh. We checked out the Museum of Natural Science and the Museum of History, then went to Brasa, a Brazilian steakhouse, for lunch. Ohmyholyfood! It was amazing.

From lunch, we ventured over to the mall, where I had booked him a massage. Well, I had booked both of us a massage, but 2 of their massage therapists were sick, so I let him have it. He treated me to some hand-made bath bombs from Lush, which smell amazing, and I got my iPhone fixed. We had dinner at a snooty little joint called BuKu, which was not what I expected, but the sushi was delicious. Then we waited for an hour for dessert at the Melting Pot- worth every minute, by the way.

Sunday, I was supposed to take my first Crossfit class, but I woke up with my throat on fire. I'm still disappointed. I really really want to take this damn class. I guess there's always next Sunday. So, instead of getting ready for the class, J made breakfast and we fell asleep on the couch watching some comedy. Pretty perfect Sunday morning, actually.

And now that I've rambled on and documented my amazing weekend for posterity, it's time to get my study on.

~* Proud Mama *~

Ok, Ok, so I'm not a mama. But today, I am a damn proud trainer. I think everyone deserves a day like today to be reminded that they are good at what they do (if, of course, they are good at what they do).

Every 4 weeks, I force my clients to go through Measurements. Weight, body fat percentage, and taping. Every 4 weeks they hate my guts. And every 4 weeks, I force them to set a new goal, and evaluate why they did or did not accomplish the previous goal. Well, this week is Measurement Week.

It's only Monday, and so far I've had clients who:

- lost 2 inches on the waist
- lost an inch on the arm
- cut their blood pressure medication in half
- dropped 5 lbs. (15 total in two months)
- ran a 5k on the treadmill, and has been so motivated that her goal for the next 4 weeks is to actually run a 5k.

I am so damn proud of my clients!!! And I'm freakin' proud of myself too. I am good at something that I am so passionate about. It's the most incredible feeling!! My goal for the next 4 weeks is to do everything I can to continue to help my clients reach their goals.

~* Get In Or GTFO *~

That's my mindset, today and going forward. I am loving my life. The people in it have the opportunity to step up and enjoy it with me, or pack up their negativity and GET THE FUCK OUT. 'Scuse the language.

This weekend has been a good one. I spent yesterday afternoon with a guy who fits my lifestyle so incredibly it's a little creepy. He took me on a date in reverse- we went to a hole in the wall coffee shop, a cupcake shop for dessert, and he made Paleo chili for dinner (amazing, by the way). This morning, I got in a full hour of cardio and felt like I could have kept going. I got new boots on clearance. I chopped off all of my hair and donated 2 ponytails to Locks of Love (yeah, I cut that much off). I'm getting ready to head out to dinner with one of my best friends, and then out for a girls' night. My life is spectacular, and I have no room for negative people or negative thoughts. Get in or GTFO- the decision is yours.

~* Relocated and Re-adjusting *~

So, I'm all moved in and settled. Huge thanks to the people who stepped up to help- y'all know who you are. I am truly blessed to have so many people that wouldn't mind helping me haul all of my stuff up a flight of stairs on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

I love my new space. I have it set up so that it pretty much fits me perfectly. I don't look around and go "ugh, where did that come from" or "I wish I could just throw that away". It's a lot of mismatched pieces, but it's cozy and homey and me. I love it. I stayed up til midnight Saturday night getting everything in place and unpacked so that I could make the space mine, and I'm happy that I did.

It's not a huge adjustment, really. It's pretty solitary, which is nice, but strange considering I have a roommate and 4 dogs. She's been working from 4pm-midnight, so we haven't seen much of each other this week, and the dogs stay to themselves unless I'm making food. And it's so nice to be so close to work. I haven't been sleeping in later, but I damn sure have been taking my sweet time actually getting up and out of bed.

AND- this blog post comes to you directly from my brand-spankin'-new laptop, courtesy of the coolest baby brother on the planet! Thanks to eternity, kid.

~* RSVP *~

Friday night, one of my clients invited me to a party at her house the next night. My first invitation to a party in I-don't-know-how-long. Maybe my first ever alone. 70s and 80s themed. Ummm.

I was TOLD to go. By more than one person. Apparently, the entire gym has taken it upon themselves to make sure I get out more in the coming year. I guess I'm the new pet project. So, I agreed to go. But what the hell was I going to wear?? I had just packed up most of my stuff...

This is what I came up with.

And ya know what? I had a freakin' blast. I was the token white girl, which, where I come from would have been a little awkward...but not here. Not with these people. There was a DJ playing old school 80s hip hop, good food, good people...just a really really good time. I'm so happy I went!! I can't wait for the next chance to try something new!

~* 30 Days of Thanks *~

I've noticed that a lot of people have been posting, on Facebook or blogs, one thing they are thankful for each day of November. I would rather just list 30 things I'm thankful for right here, right now, and get it out of the way

I am thankful for:

1) My given family. Dysfunctional as they may be, I wouldn't know respect without my father. I wouldn't know how to turn on the oven without my mother. I wouldn't know the unconditional love of children without my sister. I wouldn't know the depth of familial bonds without my brother.

2) My chosen family. My husband and my dog. When one pisses me off, the other one is there to make me smile.

3) Seriously, my husband. It has been a rough ride so far, but that man is just as stubborn as I am and he has stuck to me like glue through all the twists and turns.

4) My friends. I don't have a lot of them, but seeing them each settle into happiness has taught me what it is to truly be happy for another person.

5) My job. I am so thankful to be able to say that I have a job that I love. I truly enjoy going to work every day, and I am thankful that it is a job that I can take with me if need be. I am granted an opportunity to help people improve their lives in so many ways, and that improves my life.

6) The gym. If it weren't for the gym, well, I wouldn't have a job. But I also wouldn't have anywhere to go when I just need to get away and clear my head for a bit.

7) My health. I am a ridiculously healthy person. Sure, I get recurring shingles, and that sucks, but in the big scope of things...shingles isn't a big deal.

8) Chick flicks. "13 Going on 30",  "P.S. I Love You", and "Love, Actually" have gotten me thru some sad times.

9) My driver's license. After 18months without it, I will never take it for granted again.

10) My lack of a car payment. One less thing to worry about.

11) Veterans. 'Nuff said.

12) My Catholic school education. I may have hated every day of every year I spent in Catholic school, but I will admit that I got a better quality education than I would have otherwise.

13) Our home. I am thankful to have a roof over my head, with food in the fridge, and a place to lay my head at night.

14) My hubs again. The 14th is his birthday, and I am thankful to have a reason to have cake.

15) BankShots, my cousin's bar. Best therapist's office/family reunion venue ever.

16) The Army- they provide my mortgage payment, health insurance, and education.

17) The Ravens. Real men wear purple.

18) 5:30am. No matter how bad I slept, how bad the day before was or the day ahead is going to be, at 5:30am Monday-Friday, I get to plaster on a smile and face my first client of the day with the hopes that the day will run smoothly.

19) Edy's Creamy Coconut Bars. Yum.

20) My Keurig. One cup of coffee, hot chocolate, or tea coming right up.

21) Holidays with my family. They are becoming fewer and farther between, and I cherish every one I am blessed with.

22) The distance between my family and I. We are close enough to make the trip if desired or necessary, but not so close than anyone is just going to "drop by".

23) Books. A getaway lies just beyond the cover.

24) Hot guys with their shirts off. Thank you, Channing Tatum.

25) Good music and the ability to hear it.

26) Birth control pills. I'm not a mom for a lot of reasons.

27) Video games. They provide the necessary break for the hubs when he needs his down time.

28) Guitars. Man, I do love listening to him play.

29) Christmas and all things Christmas related. Movies, cookies, music, smells...all of it.

30) The beach. Every beach. Any beach.