Wednesday, February 15, 2012

~* Some Minutes Are Better Than Others *~

So, can we all just say it- Worst. Valentine's Day. Ever.

I told the hubs I'm going to rip February 14 out of every calendar we ever own. Last year, he had to come back to NC on Valentine's Day. This year, he had to leave me again on Valentine's Day. Ugh.

I haven't been to sleep yet. I got home at 3am, and the dog wouldn't come to bed. He keeps waiting for Mr. M to walk through the front door. I tried to sleep, but I kept getting text and facebook messages of love and support (which I am SOOOOO grateful for). I decided that as long as I stay busy, I'm ok.

So I got up, took my neighbor shopping for care package items and some Starbucks, did dishes and taxes, and have managed to stay pretty busy all day. Until now. I'm trying to make dinner and the tears keep trying to come out. I am going to be strong through this. I am going to be a wife to make my hero proud. But dammit, it's going to be hard. Some minutes I feel fantastic. Others, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry until I disappear.

God, give me strength.

Monday, February 13, 2012

~* How Do YOU Know? *~

This week is gonna suck. No way around it. I'm going to be stuck to my husbands side until the second they yank me away from him. I'm a depressed, nervous wreck but I'm trying to keep it together. This is my time to step up to the bat and be the Army Wife that makes everyone jealous.

However, if one more person rubs my back or pats my arm and says "Don't worry, he'll be ok", I might punch someone in the face. How do YOU know he's going to be ok? How do YOU know that out of all the men injured, wounded, and KIA every day, every week, every month- how do YOU know he won't be one of them? He's not going for a jog around the block folks, and the sucky reality is that he might NOT be ok. I've accepted that. He's accepted that. It's your turn.

Don't get me wrong- I understand that it's something a lot of people say because they feel the need to say something but they don't really know what to say. Say anything else, please. Really, anything. Tell me my hair is a wreck or someone hit my car or my shoes don't match...or just tell me you'll say a prayer for him.
" Don't place your better days in the future."