Thursday, December 1, 2011

~* Monster-in-Law? *~

I used to like my mother-in-law (referred to as MIL from now on). I thought she liked me, too. She's been outwardly supportive of our marriage, she held a get-together for us when we went home in September. She sends us packages in the mail, and always says hi when she's on the phone with Mr. M. And SHE wanted to pay for our actual "wedding" (which, btw, doesn't look like it's gonna happen- thanks, deployment). So, all signs pointed toward "yes, she likes me".

I might have been wrong.

Mr. M told me yesterday that he had called his mom and mentioned that we were looking into buying a house before he leaves. Our lease is up in March, and I'm gonna need to move anyway- it kinda makes sense for us to just buy a place, especially since it looks like we're gonna be stuck here in FayetteNam for a good long while. And we NEED more space! So, anyway, he tells her the exciting news and she is- well, less than excited. She thinks it's a bad idea. Naturally, I ask "Why does she think it's a bad idea? It makes sense". Asking that question was a bad idea.

Apparently, she thinks I'm going to leave Mr. M while he's gone and take everything and leave him with nothing to come home to.

OUCH! Are you kidding me?!?!

Mr. M didn't even stand up for me, mostly because they were both at work when this phone call happened, and he didn't want to fight with his mom in the middle of the work day. I told him that I could understand that, but that he needed to call his mom back and fix this. What she said was insulting, inappropriate, and completely unacceptable. Well, of course he got all upset- at me- because I was insinuating that he wasn't upset about the situation.


That's not what I was doing at all. I just want to make sure that she knows that what she said is not ok. I want my husband to stand up for me. We're supposed to go see her right before Christmas, and stay in her house, and I'm supposed to be able to share support with her while Mr. M is gone- and now I don't feel like I can do any of that. And to top it all off, Mr. M and I went to bed without speaking last night because of the whole situation. Great. There's another typical Wednesday for ya.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

~* It's All Happening *~

So, I finally have internet back at home. And enough free time to use it!! Woohoo!! Thank God, cuz I'm gonna need it.

We got news. Mr. M is deploying soon. We don't have exact dates (the Army never has exact dates), but we've heard it will be between February and April, most likely closer to February. I'm scared to death, but trying to hold it together. I'll wait til he's gone to fall apart.

We knew he would deploy again. He's got 3+ years left on his contract, so it was bound to happen. But I didn't think it would happen so soon. He just got home in January! He's excited about it tho. He likes actually being able to do his job, and he's excited about the extra money he'll be making (so we can FINALLY save some). I don't care about the money, I just want him to come home to me when it's all done. I'm sure I'm not the first Army Wife to say that.

I feel so lost about the whole thing. We weren't together when he deployed before, so I'm not sure what all I need to do. If I need to do anything. Maybe I just keep going on, day to day. He'll be here one day, gone the next, and then back in a few months. Well, more than a few, but you get the idea. I was originally set on going home while he's gone, back to Baltimore, but I think I'm gonna stick around. I hate FayetteNam, but I'll be driving again by the time he leaves, so I'll be able to visit my family. And we're planning to save money while he's gone, and it's cheaper for me to stay here. Plus, I'll get into less trouble here. I don't want to fall back into my old life, and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to resist that temptation. I have a decent job here, with room to move in different directions, and I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be suffocated by family, and it would probably be helpful to learn more about the town we're probably gonna be stuck in for a good long while. But now, I need to work on a support system.

That's the part that worries me. I'm good by myself, but I know that this next year is gonna be tough. I don't want people around me who will say "oh, I know how you feel. I've done it before". I want people who will be FRIENDS- people I can cry with if I need it, people who will let me scream if I need it, people who will take me shopping or to lunch or a movie if I just need to be distracted. I don't know a whole lot of people in this town, but I guess it's about time to change that. So, if anyone out there is reading this- feel free to say hello =)
" Don't place your better days in the future."