I thought that after the hubs deployed, I'd enjoy certain parts of life so much more. I was wrong.
I thought I'd enjoy having the bed to myself. I can't sleep more than 2 hours at a time. I wake up, checking my phone to make sure I didn't miss a Facebook message from him.
I thought I'd enjoy not having the alarm go off at 4am every day. I'm up at 4am anyway.
I thought I'd enjoy having a clean apartment. I haven't had the motivation to clean up all of his things.
It's not all terrible. I do cry a lot, but it's not all terrible. I got to hear his voice for the first time yesterday morning. I cried, but it was a different kind of cry. It looks like we're getting the house we wanted, so I'm planning all of that out- paint and new furniture and a few surprises just for him. I went grocery shopping on Sunday and only spent $36- and $10 of that was vitamins. I made a new friend- the wife of a guy hubs is deployed with. We're both going through this for the first time, and it's been nice to have someone to share the experience with. She even got me to go to church with her this past weekend. I'm not instantly some religious zealot, but it was nice to be in a room where everyone was doing the same thing I was- praying.
It's only been a week, and it has not been easy. But, hey, I only have somewhere between 24-40 weeks left!!
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